You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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