oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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