the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
