i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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