Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
