just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize