i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
nutella sex= disaster
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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