I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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