ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We have started to decorate penises.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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