she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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