You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My dick has a subreddit
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
