I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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