I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
