He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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