They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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