wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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