I need help removing her.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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