So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
