the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
