I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
She needs sedatives and a leash
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
