he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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