It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
