Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Randomize
