how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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