That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
