my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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