So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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