I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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