My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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