I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
