the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize