I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize