dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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