we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
