jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
