Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
And then he peed in my hair
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