whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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