Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
