we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
