Cold hands, warm shart.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
