belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
