At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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