Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
