My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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