cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
