Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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