If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
