I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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