So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
