windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
