I think I just saw someone hide a body.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
a search helicopter?!
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.