shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny