problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.