yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
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This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
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I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough