Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.