The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Ladies don't puke and tell