so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.