I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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