We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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