just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
