Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
