is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize