I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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