Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
