I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
foreskin is a definite game changer
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
