Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
