Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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